Managing Different Personalities in Private Clubs: The Leadership Tetris Game

Leadership in private clubs isn’t a one-size-fits-all operation. There’s no luxury of a cookie-cutter approach, no simple formula that guarantees success. Instead, it’s a constant ebb and flow, a never-ending game of Jenga, where you build something strong only to carefully adjust, pivot, and rebalance before it all comes crashing down. Sound dramatic? Welcome to leadership.
Meet People Where They Are
As leaders, we all have our own styles, opinions, and preferred ways of doing things. And that’s great. But here’s the truth: no one cares about our way of doing things; they care about how we meet them where they are.
This doesn’t mean abandoning standards or compromising expectations. It means recognizing that leadership is not about dominance but adaptability. A strong leader doesn’t bulldoze their way through challenges—they navigate them by understanding what drives different individuals and using that insight to bring people together toward a common goal.
The best leaders don’t demand change from others without first being willing to change themselves. If you want your team to be engaged, adaptable, and innovative, then you must model those traits first. That starts with listening—truly listening—to what motivates your team, your members, and your peers.
The Constant Evolution of Leadership
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about constantly learning, observing, and adjusting. And let’s talk about the elephant in the room: generations. Every generation brings different motivations, perspectives, and, let’s be honest, challenges.
What worked ten years ago may no longer apply. The way people work, communicate and engage is evolving. If we don’t evolve with them, we become the roadblock to progress.
To lead effectively in this ever-changing environment, curiosity is essential. The best leaders don’t assume they know it all; they ask questions, seek different viewpoints, and stay open to new ways of thinking. They recognize that while experience is valuable, it should never become a crutch that prevents growth.
You Are the Five People Around You
We naturally gravitate toward people like us. It’s comfortable. It’s easy. But comfort isn’t where growth happens. If you want to truly manage diverse personalities, you have to be intentional about stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Surround yourself with people who challenge you, make you think differently, and sometimes even drive you a little crazy. Growth is rarely comfortable at first. It’s like stepping onto a stage and suddenly forgetting your speech—a full-body cringe, a wave of panic. But once you push through, what once felt intimidating becomes second nature. The more you expose yourself to different perspectives, the more adaptable and effective you become as a leader.
Leadership: A Balancing Act, Not a Power Play
At the end of the day, leadership isn’t about control, it’s about influence. It’s about crafting an environment where different personalities can thrive while maintaining a clear vision and direction.
The best leaders don’t force their will; they create spaces where people can do their best work. They recognize that success isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—it’s about being the most effective listener, the most adaptable thinker, and the most consistent guide.
It might not always be your preferred style, but leadership isn’t about you, it’s about the collective. The best leaders take the strongest pieces from those around them, build something great, and when the Jenga tower starts to wobble, they adjust. Because in this game, the only way to lose is to stop adapting.
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